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| BrizCommuter demonstrating "The Slapper" |
The Grinder
The grinder seems to think that grinding their go card in a rotating motion against the reader is somehow going to make the touch on or off more effective. Might be good in the sack.
The Slapper
The slapper not surprisingly slaps their go card flat against the reader. Sometimes precision timing on how long the go card is flat against the reader results in efficiency. (Note: BrizCommuter is a highly efficient slapper).
The Timid
The timid go card user seems to think that if the go card touches the reader, they will get electrocuted, have an asteroid fall on their head, or cause a plague of locusts. Thus their go card will hover a few centimetres away from the reader and never touch it.
The Interferer
The interferer has his (it's usually a guy) go card in a wallet along with stacks of other RFID cards such as PayWave, etc. This RFID interference consistently results in a touch on fail, followed by another, followed by another, followed by an increasing queue of pissed off commuters behind. This happens every day without fail, as the interferer can never grasp what the problem is.
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| This is not a go card reader! |
The technophobe, tries to touch their go card against the ticket gate direction arrow, instead of the go card reader. If this occurs more than once, they probably need to be locked up, for life.
The Evader
The evader doesn't actually bother touching on as they don't have a go card. Often seen tailgating other commuters through gates. Naughty, naughty, but not bloody surprising given how much it costs to use public transport in Brisbane!
The Deforester
The deforester insists on burning their own money by using paper tickets. If cross-bred with the technophobe, may try and touch their paper ticket against the go card reader, or even worse, the direction arrow on the ticket barrier.
The Senior
The senior has a successful touch on, then passes the same go card to their partner to touch on as well. Oh dear...
The Dory
The dory has a successful touch on, but then due to self doubt or just pure forgetfulness, touches on again just in case, causing a touch off. This repeats until they wonder off to the ticket office to ask why they have just incurred multiple $10 fixed fares.
The Potter
The potter is either a geek, or a hipster, or even worse, a combination of the two. The potter will melt-down the plastic of the go card and place the RFID coils in a magic wand, a paleo bar, or a penny farthing. Very rare in Brisbane.
The First Worlder
The first worlder, used to living in more developed countries, tries to touch on using their mobile phone, or credit card. They may also try and pay for snacks in a convenience store with their go card, or even try and use it on other transport systems in the same country. This all results in a failure because Australia is so bloody backwards.
Which one are you?
I've noticed some others:
ReplyDeleteThe Holder. Holds the card gently against the reader, perfectly still until a response is seen. Maybe the card reader will only work if the card is stationary like a person trying to read a book.
The Waver. Waves the card towards and away from the reader, like the card will only work if in motion. Maybe it works like a checkout where you need to wave the item around until it scans?
The "now where did I put my card?" person who won't give up their spot in queue yet it never occurred to them that they might need their card at this point in their journey.
The "I'm an employee - honest" sneaks through the translink employee door while it is open (and why do actual QR rail/translink staff get travel free)?
The "I'll jump out at the last touch-on station (such as southbank), swipe on and jump back into the train so I can swipe out at Central with minimal fare. SCORE (we all see you every day and you will get caught and warned one day).