|BCC's Literary Masterpiece - Bruce the Brissie Bus|
Barry woke as up as the sun rose above Eagle Farm Bus Depot. Barry was new type of diesel bus, and had been built to replace the gas buses that occasionally spontaneously exploded.
Barry's driver for the day was called Dave, who climbed into the drivers seat. "We've got an exciting day ahead of us today" said Dave, travelling on lots of different Brisbane City Council bus routes. "Our go card readers are broken again, so everyone with a go card gets a free ride" said Dave.
"First, we will be on the rocket service P343, taking commuters into work from Aspley". Barry chuckled at all of the stranded commuters waiting at bus stops which his rocket service did not stop at. He overtook the Buz service 345, and the all stops 390 bus, which both said "Sorry, Bus Full" on the front. "Can we just be nice and pick them up?" asked Barry. "Against the rules" said Dave.
After that, Barry had a fast empty run out to Chermside. Barry asked Dave "why his bus was running out of service when so many people were waiting at Roma Street for a route 66 bus to QUT Kelvin Grove and RBWH?" Dave said "they're used to it, anyway, sensible people drive in Brisbane".
Barry then operated a route 333 service into the City. He enjoyed playing the bus conga, where the routes 330,333,334,335,340,370,375,379, all run together in a convoy. "Lets all do the conga, lets all so the conga" sang Dave.
After the Conga fun, Barry operated a route 390 service out to Mitchelton. Dave said "we love racing Queensland Rail trains". After a break, Barry was lucky enough to run a route 361 welfare bus service around the backstreets of Dorrington. His single passenger has a whinge, saying "TransLink wanted to cut this bus service, how would I get to the pokeys to spend my pension if this bus didn't exist?" Barry was concerned that the passenger may be carrying a pitch fork.
Barry then took some tourists to Mount Coot-tha on route 471. They all looked rather shocked when Dave told them how much the paper ticket fare was. Then they looked even more shocked when Dave told them that was only for a one way trip! Barry overhead the tourists discussing that they wouldn't be visiting SE Queensland again given the cost of transport and lack of day tickets.
Finally, Barry was able to operate a route 111 bus out to Eight Mile Plains along the SE Busway. Barry was not amused by getting stuck in big queue of half-empty buses on the Victoria Bridge. Nor was he amused about the tight squeeze through the Melbourne Street portal. "You need to breath in" said Dave, narrowly avoiding a CityGlider.
"Phew" said Barry, I'm glad most Brisbane Transport bus services don't run late into the evening, I need a big sleep!
Note: the above is probably funnier if you have read the original, available at BCC libraries.