Monday, December 14, 2015

BrizCommuter Park

Congratulations to Rail Back on Track founder Robert Dow who has had a park named after him in Goodna. If it wasn't for the effort put in by Mr Dow, then SE Queensland's public transport system would be even more of a basket case, and the Springfield Line probably be single track. 

Now, as Brisbane's second (maybe third) biggest whinger, BrizCommuter is going to campaign to have a park named after him as well. The park will of course be themed after Brisbane's public transport system. Here a list of attractions in the proposed BrizCommuter Park:
  • Spiral slide of transport failure - in this fun attraction, kids can slide down in a giant spiral of doom, a bit like SE Queensland's transport policy. 
  • Never ending roundabout - just like Cross River Rail's planning process, this ride just keeps going around in circles. Sick bags available upon exit. 
  • Newman's BaT Tunnel - part of the fairytale fantasy forest section of the park, which is full of fairies, intelligent politicians, and other imaginary creatures.
  • Cycleway of disconnectivity - here kids can ride around on their bikes and scooters along a cycleway. However, there are extra hazards along the way, such as the cycleway being interrupted by 10 lane highways, stormwater drains, and rubble. 
  • Quirky bus jam ride - ride around a track in one the 10 Brisbane City Council buses. (Note: you'll wait for ages and then all 10 buses will arrive at the same time). 
  • Train ride of patience - only runs every 30 minutes, and hourly on Sunday mornings. 
Newman's BaT Tunnel attraction
Just to make sure no one uses BrizCommuter Park, an exorbitant entrance fee will be charged. Sounds familiar?


  1. Does BrizCommuter have priorities for the upcoming council elections?

    1. Well, the construction of BrizCommuter park is number 1 priority!

  2. It needs to be located somewhere without easy access, with very limited parking, and there should be a path between BBQ and swings, and starts to head towards the car park but doesn't make it all the way. The BBQs should have permanent "out of order" stickers on them and the swings should have "quiet space" signs placed in hard to see locations. Maintenance should be minimal until people complain loudly about it, at which point the grass will be mowed every second day for a few weeks. Then maintenance should return to normal. Preferably the park should be located close enough to other parks to not really justify its location, but far enough away from people to make it difficult to access.

    Oh - and the entire park must be closed down whenever there is a standard seasonal storm. Police should visit regularly for "Police Incidents" which require the entire park to shut down until. Events will be posted on social media and websites, normally after the event starts and definitely with limited and inaccurate information about the event.


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